The Birthday Party

Over the years, I’ve noticed that everyone seems to have the same milestones or events. For the most part, everyone graduates from college, gets married, has kids, and a few even get divorced. It’s a very linear progression. This weekend I experienced the next milestone. I attended my first 40th birthday party!

40th birthday parties are full of people at one of the various milestones. There are the couples that are still happily married, married and it’s just a matter time until they get divorced, married and should be divorced but one or the other is too chicken to file, and the already divorced singleton.

To make it even more momentous, because of Halloween, it was a costume 40th birthday party. There was the “rock band groupie” costume, a goth, clown, shrek, and even a pirate. But the costume that really stuck out was Wonder Woman. Only a couple of years past 40, Wonder Woman was still the oldest person in attendance. And she was out to prove that she still had it. When asked why she chose a Wonder Woman costume, she replied “I’ve always wanted to be Wonder Woman and a Lady Bug. This year I decided to be Wonder Woman.” The sad part, when someone made a reference to Linda Carter (and there were lots of them) we all knew what they were talking about.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Wonder Woman’s costume as much as anyone but considering she had the least amount of clothes on at the party, it might have been slightly inappropriate. Did I mention she didn’t bring her husband? She left him at home to watch the kids. And later that night, when she couldn’t see, he came and got her. She fell directly into the chicken category.

The conversation at 40th parties changes too. At one point, the guys were in the kitchen discussing the nuances to the Backyardigans dance. Who could do it and who couldn’t! It eventually devolved into a heated discussion about the merits of Bugs Bunny and how he was much cooler than SpongeBob Squarepants. And, for the record, Bugs was waaayyyyy cooler. Somehow, I don't remember this topic at my 21st, 25th, or even 30th birthday party.

Eventually, Wife and I went home. As soon as we were out of the driveway, Wife immediately launched into “Can you believe that woman?”
Lee: What woman?
Wife: What ever her name was. Groupie.
Lee: What about her? She seemed nice.
Wife: Blah blah blah can you believe her blah blah blah hitting on my husband blah blah blah.

There were some facts and figures but I really didn't hear anything past 'hitting on my husband.' All I could think was, “I still got the mojo. I’m still a hottie. Short, chubby, divorced chicks dig me! Oh yyyeeeaaahhh! ”