It’s probably no surprise that I love details. I love the details of conversations. I love the details in art. I love exact and precise things. I don’t do generalizations and I’ve learned, mostly the hard way, that there are times to be precise and times to let it go. But, it’s come to my attention that a lot of people don’t know when to let it go. So, today’s post will help clarify when it’s a “good time” to be detailed obsessive…
To help your understanding, I’ve thought up a hypothetical situation involving a Man and his Wife having a conversation early one morning.
Man: How did you sleep last night?
Wife: Not so good. I had stress dreams and I kept waking up.
LEARNING POINT #1: Mood is terribly important when trying to determine whether asking for details is acceptable. In this case, the Wife is tired from a lack of sleep. That makes her grouchy. So, this is a good time to walk away while saying something like, ‘Awww, that’s too bad!’
BUT, since this is an exercise, let’s assume that the Man pressed on clueless to the danger he was getting into.
Man: Ewww. That’s never fun. What were the dreams about?
Wife: I don’t know. I’m just stressed and it all turned up in the dreams. It was one of those extended stress dreams that had everything in it.
LEARNING POINT #2: As you can see in this example, Wife, through verbal cues, has already established that she’s grouchy and doesn’t really feel like talking about it. By again pressing on, Man has gone from slight danger to walking straight into the lion’s den with a sharp stick in hand.
Since sharp sticks can only be used to poke, prod, and otherwise annoy savage beasts, this would be a good time to say something like, ‘Awww, that’s too bad. I’ll make breakfast for the kids!’ and walk away.
BUT, since this is an exercise, let’s assume that the Man continued on, pressing for more details.
Man: Everything? Were the kids in it?
Wife: Yeah. And other stuff too.
Man: Was it house related stuff too?
Wife: Yeah. A little bit of that too.
Man: Some zombies?
Wife: What? Zombies? What are you talking about?
Man: You know zombies! No stress dream in complete with zombies. There’s the ‘I’m falling’ stress dream. The ‘house is collapsing’ stress dream. The ‘work is overwhelming’ stress dream. And, the ever popular ‘zombies are chasing me’ stress dream. But it’s gotta be classic slow zombies, not the nouveau fast zombies to count as a stress dream.
But, it appears that you didn’t have zombies so you didn’t have a stress dream. You had what I call more of a mild annoyance dream.
LEARNING POINT #3: At this point, you’re pretty much screwed. You can potentially escape with a minor flogging if you stop at any point prior to the zombies. But, pushing ever onward to explain that zombies are required for it to be a true stress dream (NO MATTER HOW RIGHT YOU ARE) will only lead to dire consequences.
If this had been a real story the above conversation might have concluded with a glare and “Don’t you need to go to work now?”
The appropriate response is “Yes! Yes, I do.” NOT “What? I’m trying to help you better understand your dreams. Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed today.”
To help your understanding, I’ve thought up a hypothetical situation involving a Man and his Wife having a conversation early one morning.
Man: How did you sleep last night?
Wife: Not so good. I had stress dreams and I kept waking up.
LEARNING POINT #1: Mood is terribly important when trying to determine whether asking for details is acceptable. In this case, the Wife is tired from a lack of sleep. That makes her grouchy. So, this is a good time to walk away while saying something like, ‘Awww, that’s too bad!’
BUT, since this is an exercise, let’s assume that the Man pressed on clueless to the danger he was getting into.
Man: Ewww. That’s never fun. What were the dreams about?
Wife: I don’t know. I’m just stressed and it all turned up in the dreams. It was one of those extended stress dreams that had everything in it.
LEARNING POINT #2: As you can see in this example, Wife, through verbal cues, has already established that she’s grouchy and doesn’t really feel like talking about it. By again pressing on, Man has gone from slight danger to walking straight into the lion’s den with a sharp stick in hand.
Since sharp sticks can only be used to poke, prod, and otherwise annoy savage beasts, this would be a good time to say something like, ‘Awww, that’s too bad. I’ll make breakfast for the kids!’ and walk away.
BUT, since this is an exercise, let’s assume that the Man continued on, pressing for more details.
Man: Everything? Were the kids in it?
Wife: Yeah. And other stuff too.
Man: Was it house related stuff too?
Wife: Yeah. A little bit of that too.
Man: Some zombies?
Wife: What? Zombies? What are you talking about?
Man: You know zombies! No stress dream in complete with zombies. There’s the ‘I’m falling’ stress dream. The ‘house is collapsing’ stress dream. The ‘work is overwhelming’ stress dream. And, the ever popular ‘zombies are chasing me’ stress dream. But it’s gotta be classic slow zombies, not the nouveau fast zombies to count as a stress dream.
But, it appears that you didn’t have zombies so you didn’t have a stress dream. You had what I call more of a mild annoyance dream.
LEARNING POINT #3: At this point, you’re pretty much screwed. You can potentially escape with a minor flogging if you stop at any point prior to the zombies. But, pushing ever onward to explain that zombies are required for it to be a true stress dream (NO MATTER HOW RIGHT YOU ARE) will only lead to dire consequences.
If this had been a real story the above conversation might have concluded with a glare and “Don’t you need to go to work now?”
The appropriate response is “Yes! Yes, I do.” NOT “What? I’m trying to help you better understand your dreams. Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed today.”
"I don’t do generalizations and I’ve learned, mostly the hard way, that there are times to be precise and times to let it go."
ReplyDeleteSometimes unintended humor is the best humor.