Saturday, February 06, 2010

The Naming of Sleds

WE INTERRUPT THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED POST (sorry Matthew) FOR THIS IMPORTANT EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT. IT’S SNOWING…again. THE “CLIMATE-CHANGE” CHALLENGING WINTER OF 2009-2010 CONTINUES TO MAKE HISTORY (in Maryland at least). THIS IS A BIG ONE FOLKS, UP TO XX INCHES !!!*

For the benefit of our dear readers who are experiencing warmer temperatures and less fluffy white stuff, we will try to give you a taste of what you’ve been missing around here…

Yesterday, my youngest daughter asked me to go sledding with her. Reluctantly, I acquiesced primarily because it wasn’t too cold. We had a BLAST! Living next to the local elementary school has its benefits, especially during a snowy winter – you see there are some really steep hills around here. It really fascinated me what a large number of sledding devices we had accumulated this season. Even more intriguing was the fact that each “sled” had it’s own unique name.

Pictured below is each sled, ranked from best to less according to a recent rider’s poll (my son). To further enhance your experience we offer a short video clip of the top four sleds in action (from the rider’s perspective)**. Enjoy!

1. Record Breaker: This vintage metal/wood Yankee Clipper sled is fast and steady. Due to its extra weight, it’s the fastest sled and travels the furthest. This sled was left hanging in the garage of our new house, just waiting for a chance at GLORY again.





2. Speedy: This brand new foam sled is the second fastest (and the fastest of the non-metal sleds). It is also equipped with a reign, which allows you to snow board (so I’m told – I still remember when I broke my femur in 4th grade and am NOT about to try it).





3. Beast: This small plastic toboggan was found abandoned and forlorn on the sledding hill. While not as fast as “Speedy”, it’s fun factor is fueled by its uncontrollability, always giving the rider a surprise turn at the end of the run. Those who manage not to fall off have “Conquered the Beast”.




4. Tilt-a-Sled: This purple plastic disc toboggan was purchased for a paltry five hundred pennies (although, it almost never made it home, since someone didn’t want to share it with her siblings). It has two modes of travel: straight-and-narrow and dizzyingly circular. Riders (again so I’m told) claim that they experience an average of 20 360-degree turns, if they start with a slight spin at the top of the hill.

5. Messed Up: An old foam sled, which spent nearly an entire winter outside once. This sled is fairly fast; however, with busted handles hanging on is a real challenge. It is also equipped with tiny “blade runners” (not the android killing kind), which can cause the sled to turn suddenly. “Watch Out! It’s a wild one!”



6. Surf’s Up: This boogie board, which was designed for liquid water, rather than snow, was also found alone on the sledding hill. The slowest of the six sleds, it has the potential for providing spectacular wipeouts.






Maybe now I’ll appreciate Citizen Kane more…

*Comics And…Other Imaginary Tales is not responsible for predicting actual snow fall accumulations (in case we’re wrong), please refer to your local weather source for more reliable statistics.

**Due to technical difficulties (low batteries), we were unable to provide videos for each sled. We also apologize for the poor film making -- we didn't have a chance to do second takes... and I'm not even sure if they're going to work or not on the blog.