THIS is "Planet Earth"? (or Will the real Dylan Hunt, please stand up?)

One of my favorite albums from the early '90s is School of Fish.  The whole thing is a masterpiece, especially the first two tracks: "Intro" & "3 Strange Days".  I echo some of the lyrics frequently because they represent a limited and compressed toe-dip into some pop culture phenomenon, experience, or sampling.  I'd even call the term 3 strange days a "short soirée", even though that stretches the definition well beyond the norm.  But hey, mangling and jangling the English language is just how my thoughts work.  And it may not be a strict three days (and it doesn't have to be limited to pop culture entertainment), but you get the idea:

For three strange days
I had no obligations
My mind was a blur
I did not know what to do
I think I lost myself
When I lost my motivation
Now I'm walking 'round the city
Just waiting to come to
For three strange...

So last weekend, after completing my annual Halloween movie fest (more on that another time...maybe), I started watching Gene Roddenberry's unsuccessful and bizarre, loosely-connected trilogy of mid-70s SyFy films: Genesis II (1973), Planet Earth (1974), and Strange New World (1975) on Tubi.

It's something I've heard about and seen pictures of over the years, and I've always wanted to check it out.  Let's just say there's a lot to discuss...

If you're expecting thesis-level summaries of these films, you're going to be disappointed.  That's what Grokipedia is for, or IMDb.  And see my last repost of The Poet for context.

Genesis II

Starring Dylan Hunt as portrayed by the mustachioed Alex Cord.  Dylan is undergoing a short-term suspended animation test in 1979, when an earthquake encapsulates him for another 154 years. He's finally unearthed, awaking Rip Van Winkle style (or Steve Rogers for any youngins out there) to a strange new... (oops, getting ahead of myself).  Earth has changed and fractured into different societies. One is PAX, the do no harm peaceful society that seeks to preserve mankind's legacy (the good stuff like old paintings and such).  The other is the scantily clad Tyranians, who subjugate all whom they deem lesser, which is everyone else.

Co-starring the beautiful Mariette Hartley as Lyra-a, the double navel-tee. (Mariette is well known for seducing Spock in the past and being married to David Banner...all too briefly.)  Here she's again, her alluring and appealing self, and playing a "mutant".  But she's also secretly spying on the Paxians for the opposition. She encourages Dylan to go to her city under false auspices, but then he discovers that the society is built on slave labor! Lyra-a wants him to use his ancient knowledge to restart their nuclear power (and most likely their weapons too).

Also co-starring the lurching Ted Cassidy as Isiah, a more savage Native American-type member of the Pax society.

And probably the best co-star of all - the rocket tube subterranean tunnel bullet train (subshuttle)! 

Sub-ter-RAN-ean?  I thought it was pronounced Sub-ter-RAIN-ean.  But then I call Namor, the Sub-Ma-REEN-er.

Dylan manages to destroy the Tyranian city (I don't remember the precise details), which is a good thing...BUT he must swear to never, ever kill again if he wants to stay with the Paxians. C'mon, guys, there's a reason why Edith Keller had to die, remember?  Pure peace against a conquering foe doesn't always work out.  At least they allow self-defense...which leads us to...

Planet Earth

[Duran Duran's song is playing right now in various versions]

Starring Dylan Hunt as portrayed by the martial artist (as seen in Enter the Dragon) and macho-chested John Saxon.  There is no origin story this time around, and it appears this is the same Dylan Hunt from Genesis II, albeit with a new actor and a TOTAL rebrand.  We've got smart-looking jumpsuit uniforms and a small core team.  Jump-suit is right, John does some expert kicks in the fight scenes.  Even Ted Cassidy is back as Isiah, but now sporting a more Indian-style coiffure.  Pax is no longer strictly underground, but they still utilize the subshuttle to get around the world.  There is no mention of Lyra-a or the Tyranians, but we're introduced to two new societies: Kreeg (mutant nu-Klingon precursors replete with head ridges) and the Confederacy of Ruth (a female-dominated society).

One of Dylan's teammates gets critically injured by a run-in with the Kreegs, and the team must try to find a lost Pax surgeon to operate on him.  This film is much more like an episode of Star Trek, more so than the previous one.  So it's a mystery as to why it didn't fly as a series, except that the superior (to me anyway) TV Planet of the Apes had already failed at that point. Maybe there were just too many time-lost future TV shows?  

Co-starring the commanding Diana Muldar as Marg, the whipsnapping headmistress of the CoR. (Diana is also familiar to Star Trek fans and LA Law elevators!)  Dylan has a cute (but hair too short) girl on his team, Harper-Smythe, who pretends to capture him in hopes of infiltrating the CoR to find the lost doctor (and her ex-love). The women use a chemical to pacify their male slaves in the daily gruel (oatmeal), but unfortunately, low-T means no new babies!  Dylan is highly prized on the auction block, where all the women are vying to buy him for breeding stock because he has spirit. Harper challenges Marg to get him back, but then trades him for the doctor.  Meanwhile, Dylan, who is wise to the drug, gets a chance to chemically balance Marg (with wine) in preparation for a night of lovemaking...but she falls asleep!  The men are antidoted by the doctor just in time to resist a raid by the Kreegs, and the women decide to take their males off leash.

John Saxon is definitely fun to watch, and of the three movies, this is probably the most enjoyable. Although the context of Genesis II helps.

Strange New World

Starring John Saxon as Captain Anthony Vico. What?  I guess you could call this a parallel/alternate universe of the Genesis II/Planet Earth series.  Vico and two others are astronauts testing suspended animation, but a nuclear war leaves them stranded for 180 years. They wake up and go down to earth...a strange new world.  They have a pretty impressive cargo vehicle to travel in, but they're on limited resources. Even their clothing is in tatters.

This film is so bad that Gene Roddenberry disavowed any involvement with it due to all the changes the studio made.  Just like I wanted to do with my home state of Virginia this past Wednesday morning!

The film consists of two disjointed stories smashed together, typical mid-70s SyFy fare.  The first is a closed society of clones that allows the people to essentially live forever.  The second involves a group that lives at the zoo and adheres to a Fish and Wildlife manual like it's the Bible.  Entertaining for completists, but totally skippable.  I could say more, but why bother.

Tubi likes to advance you to the next suggested program, so it tried to start the Andromeda series from the early 2000s.  I had to research as to why...

Andromeda

Starring Dylan Hunt as portrayed by the herculean Kevin Sorbo.  Roddenberry's widow (Nurse Chapel) greenlit this series of unused or underdeveloped Roddenberry concepts. I had read that it was a takeoff on the first two films listed above, but it's quite different.  Humanity is in space (some year?), and Dylan captains the AI-powered and voluptuous-imaged Andromeda.  He gets caught in a black hole's time dilation and loses 300 years!  I watched the first episode yesterday and am eager to go back for more. Kevin, in one scene, did more for being a man "out of time" mourning the loss of his loved ones than all three '70s movies combined!  The costuming and special effects all seem top-notch.

As I said...3 Strange Days indeed. 

PS

Ark II

A 1976 Saturday morning Filmation series that is much better than the 70s films, but of a similar vein. Even the Ark II resembles the subshuttle.  When I watch it again, I might write about that one. That is, if my valuable DVD set survives the **** testing!!!