Teaching Tricks

So, anyway, we were eating lunch the other day when it all started....

Lunch was over and I was teaching the kids tricks. I've always felt it's a parents job to teach children the skills necessary to survive and succeed in life. In particular, it is a Father's job to teach his kids how to burp, fart, and make funny noises with their armpits. Mom's teach practical life lessons. Dad's teach how to survive in the elementary school cafeteria.

For this particular days lesson, I decided to teach the kids how to throw bits of food into the air and catch it in their mouth. I started simple with a small piece of pop corn. Up the piece went, not too high because it's the first bit, and plop into my mouth. The kids eyes just about popped out of their heads. They were absolutely amazed at my talent.

But, I wasn't done yet. I decided to show off a little. I advanced onto the peanut m&m. This time I threw it a little bit higher and again, I caught it in my mouth. The kids squealed in delight. They never suspected that I was so incredibly talented.

For the finale, I toss a grape into the air. But I didn't just toss the grape, I threw it high enough to just about touch the ceiling. Plop. I caught it perfectly in my mouth.

The kids cheered. They screamed in delight. They were super impressed. Boy, so excited asks, "Can Mommy do that too?"

"Of course she can!" I reply. Knowing that this might not be the best lesson to be teaching my children, I figure I should give Mom her due props. "Mom is even better at catching things in her mouth than I am."

Boy thinks, and then says, "Wow. I bet Mom could catch an apple."

Yeah, I got blamed for that too.