Wednesday. Gosh darn I love Wednesdays! More pointless posts by Lee!!!
This week, we shall discuss the things the annoy me! But I don’t want this to only be a list of “things that piss me off” so I shall balance it with a list of “It’s ok because…”
Annoyance #1: Big League Chew Bubblegum
Now I don’t have anything against bubblegum per say. I have a thing with people who chew gum like cows. You know that guy that wears the nice tie, has impeccable table manners, and always looks great then suddenly he gets a piece of gum in his mouth and he’s a cow chewing cud… GRUM GRUM GRUM. Seriously, is it that hard to keep you mouth closed? I really didn’t want to see the florescent piece of Dubble Bubble sloshing around your mouth. Really! I didn’t! Plus it makes them look like an idiot because they can’t keep their lips together.
It’s ok because…My birthday is only three days away.
Annoyance #2: Baseball Fans of winning teams.
Luckily, most baseball fans aren’t as annoying as football fans but there are some. Yankee fans, Red Sox fans…. They can’t seem to shut up. It’s day 2 of the baseball season and already the Yankee fans are talking world series. DAY 2. Shut up already!
It’s ok because…I’m a Red Sox fan and once again hope springs eternal! And the fact that so many people have wished me a happy birthday this year. It’s nice to know so many people care that they remembered all on their own without any prodding from me… My birthday is only three days away!
Annoyance #3: Baseball Fans of losing teams.
How is it that every season there are teams that just crush your hopes and dreams before the first pitch is thrown? Take the Orioles for instance, terrible management, terrible team. They don’t stand a chance. BUT, in an effort to be kind to fans of loser teams (Jim) I try to include them in the season. You make offers to fans of loser teams (Jim) like… “How about $1 over/under .500?” Seems reasonable doesn’t it? But nooooo, those fans (Jim) can’t handle the pressure! They (Jim) are afraid of a little wager. The competition is too much for them (Jim). All I am trying to do is make an other wise lackluster season for the Orioles interesting for fans (Jim) who have no hope…
It’s ok because…I got “THE LIST” out early this year so I know that I will get appropriate gifts because… my birthday is only three days away.
Annoyance #4: Crappy Birthday Presents.
DON’T ROLL YOUR EYES!!!! Come on now, fess up. You’ve gotten some crappy presents over the years. There was the year I got the sprinkler… “oooohhhh thanks for that one, honey! And, yes your getting a new vacuum cleaner for Christmas.” We’ve all gotten them and will likely get them again.
It’s ok because…“THE LIST” was published early! Once on the blog. Once on the fridge. AND, the kids already told me the box from Amazon arrived the other day. That can only mean one thing COMICS!!! This will be a good birthday…. Because… well because … my birthday is only three days away.