So, another year, another anniversary. Yep, that's right, I made it through another year and have now been successfully married for 8 years. Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been without its fair share of trials and tribulations but overall a good time was had by all.
But, my biggest accomplishment, in my humble opinion, is that I have never missed or forgotten my anniversary. I wish I could take credit for an amazing memory but the truth is, my wife seared the historic date into my brain years ago.
You see, after we had been married for 3 weeks (not even a full month), my wife asked me a simple question. In fact, it was such a simple question that any fool could have answered it. The question was so simple it could be asked during dinner... after a long week at the office... while drinking a nice glass of wine. The question was of course, “What day were we married on?”
The question was so simple that I was taken aback by it. In fact, it was such a silly question, I responded “What? What kind of question is that?”
She, with a very, very straight face: Seriously, when were we married? Do you remember?
Me: What? Of course I remember. It was just a couple of weeks ago. How can you think that I don’t remember?
She, easily seeing through me: WOW! I can’t believe you don’t know. That’s really bad. That’s pathetic.
Me: WHAT? (said with far to much urgency) It’s… It’s… the other day on a Saturday.
She, very calmly, in a matter of fact tone with a just a hint of hurt in the voice: It was -the date-. I still can’t believe you forgot.
She says she didn’t but I swear she squeezed her eyes so tight she made them water. Not quite a tear, but just enough so moisture could be seen in them and just enough to insure I would feel guilt. Needless to say, I spent the better part of the next several days sucking up because I had forgotten the day we got married. But, I have never forgotten since.
Off topic: THREE FRIGGIN' WEEKS!!!! Who the heck double checks at THREE FRIGGIN' WEEKS!!!
ANYWAY... Which brings us to this year and another lesson I have learned. This year I learned to never, ever, never, ever receive any cool comic book or personal hobby related stuff in the mail on your anniversary.
This might not make sense to some people, so let’s set a hypothetical situation. Let's say a big package of really cool Mr. Miracle art shows up from England. Said art would be big splashes purchased directly from the artist, Ian Gibson. Let’s add a touch of realism and say the art is three ultra cool splash pages that you have waited months to get.
Now, for this hypothetical situation, the wife in question understands the nature of comic book and comic art collecting and tolerates such silliness. But if your eyes continually wander over to the package it could get you in trouble. You might hear phrases such as “What cha looking at?” and “I’m certain your listening to me and not just staring at that package.”
And finally, If your wife says “I feel fat and unattractive” your first response should NOT be “That’s ok, I’ll still do ya!” Apparently, it's not a compliment any day of any week.