Thursday, July 17, 2008

Birth of a Notion

I have to admit that posting in a blog is hard work. I have so much trouble coming up with new ideas on a weekly basis that I don't know how Jim does it on a daily basis. Occasionally, when bloggers block sets in I come up with really bad ideas and let Jim filter me. This weeks bad idea involved hair in all the wrong places. It started simply enough, and as always descended into random stupidity.

Lee: HELP! I'm in trouble. I have nothing to post this week.
Jim: What? You always have something. Come on now, it can't be that bad.
Lee: I'm serious. I've got nada. I've been so busy with work and house hold duties, I haven't had time to read anything new. Which means no book reviews.

Jim: What about the kids? They're always good for a story.
Lee: I don't know what's wrong with them. They've been quiet... and good... all week. It's not any fun writing about the kids if they haven't caused any trouble.
Jim: Are you really trying to tell me that nothing interesting happened to you this week.

Lee: Well, I did notice that I had a brand new white hair.
Jim: Big deal. I have hundreds of white hairs.

Lee: IN YOUR NOSE? Seriously this thing is bone white. It's like having one snow covered pine tree in the middle of the entire Black Forest. It's a flashing neon sign in my nostril that blinks "look at me."
Jim: What? No no no. You cannot not talk about nose hair on the blog. I don't care what color it is. No nose hair.

Lee: Fine. How about eyebrow craziness? Two hairs in my eyebrows decided to strike out on their own this week. They've been sticking straight out for the last day and a half. It looks like I have horns. Horns that are a different color than the white neon sign in my nose.
Jim: NO!

Lee: Why not? It's not nose hair.
Jim: Because I said so. I don't need a reason. No nose hair stories.

Lee: What if the hair is on the outside of my nose? I have one that suddenly erupted this year on the end of my nose. A single, solitary strand, it's like a giant Sequoia on the end of my nose.
Jim: Wha? No? Oh fer crying out loud. NO FRELLIN HAIR STORIES.

Lee: I think you're limiting potential posting with your narrow mindedness.
Jim: I think you're an idiot. No already.

Lee: FINE.
Jim: FINE. Thank you.

So, there you have it. I've been censored. Freedom of expression crushed by the Man. Maybe something exciting will happen to me next week and I can talk about that. Until then, I got nada.


  1. Geeze, and the toilet paper one didn't get censored?

  2. Back in my newspaper journalism days, when I wrote a Sunday humor column for a syndicate in Florida, I was once called into the editor's office and told that I could make no more references to boogers or snot in my weekly column.

    I say we unite and fight for our right to talk about boogers and body hairs.