Friday, March 09, 2007

The mostly true to the best of my recollection story of why I am in charge of blogging today...

So tonight is an extra special edition of Lee’s Blog. Now you’re probable saying to yourself, “This isn’t Lee’s night. Wednesday is Lee’s normal day.” Well that is correct, Wednesday is my normal day but today…. Well let’s just say that today was a little out of the ordinary.

It all stated with a phone call from Jim. It may have actually been an email but for the sake of this story it was a phone call.

Jim “calls” and as soon as he speaks, I can tell that something is wrong. It starts with a sniffle and then “Lee”… a gasping pause… then another sniffle… and in a broken tone “Lee, I need your help”

My first thought Oh no. What now? What trouble is Jim in this time? Believe me, after the last time with all the work we had to do digging the shallow gra..… ummm old story. I’ll save that for another time. ANYWAY, back to the tale at hand.

Where were we? Oh yeah, so Jim’s sniffling and sobbing and in between gasps for breath I’m getting “Oh Lee, I need help! You gotta help me!” Blah blah blah something something yadda yadda and finally “ I’m in trouble.” Actually, I’m not describing this very well. It was more like

Sniff “Oh” Sniff.. low moan “Lee,” Sniff.. sniff “I “ …moan… “need help!” Followed by a full out SSSSOOOOOOBBBBBBB.. then we continuing the gasping half talk… sniff “You gotta” Sniff.. whimper “you gotta help me!”… and the coop-de-gracie, a wail OOOOHHHHH, and finally, “I’m in trouble”

It was awful. Seriously, I was on the phone 10 minutes and all I got was “I need help”
So, before he could ruin the remainder of my afternoon, I screamed into the phone “Jim! JIM! Dammit man get a hold of yourself! JIM! The crew needs you Jim” Deep down, I know you’re not supposed to scream at blubbering messes but he was starting to get on my nerves.

So, Jim says, for the umpteenth time, “I need help.”
To which I say “I got that part already. Focus Man! Focus! What is it? What do you need?”
And finally, I get my answer, “I can’t write the blog tonight. Can you cover?”

So there you have it. Jim couldn’t blog tonight. Being unable to contribute to this blog reduced a grown man to a sobbing, blubbering mess… and not just an ordinary grown man, but a grown man nearing retirement no less. Sobbing like a little girl, no offense to the little girls who read this blog. I can only imagine him with snot running down his nose and tears streaming down his cheeks.

I won’t lie. It was embarrassing. But, I think that you the reader should be proud to know that Jim cares so much about you… all two of you… that it almost caused him to have a nervous breakdown.

The bottom line, Jim with snot dripping out his nose and tears running down his cheeks begged me… repeat BEGGED ME to do the blog tonight. Who was I to turn down a man in such a state.

So, anyway, I got nothing for tonight so I'm outta here. Peace y’all.


  1. Note to self - never ask lee to do a simple favor let do a blog while I'm winning money from my friends at poker.

    Note 2 to self - send heat seeking missle at Lee's house, make sure his wife and kids are not there.

    Yep that about covers it.

  2. Next time just ask me - sheesh!

  3. You're such a generous friend, Lee!