This week was another strange one for me when I realized that Romeo and Juliet were living in my nose. I know y’all out there are scoffing but it’s true! What you have to understand is that my nostrils truly are independent of each other. The right nostril is always blocked. It’s my drippings collector. If I have a cold then the right nostril is clogged. If I cry at a sad scene in the movie, the right nostril is clogged. Suffice to say the right nostril never works.On the other hand, the left nostril never clogs so I can always breath and smell through it. But, the left nostril also collects all kind of dirt. When I swept down the corn silo, everything coming out of the left nostril was yellow from pollen. When I swept down coal pulverizers, everything coming out of the left nostril was black. So you can see how I have a Capulet and Montague thing going.
Well, the other day I notice that the hair in my nose was getting a little out of control and starting to extend outward. It’s at the point that I noticed a hair on the left had grown out and started reaching around the septum. At the same time, a hair on the right had done the same thing! It’s like the two hairs were reaching for each other. Appalled I did the only thing I could and stuffed everyone back in their respective nostrils. Later that night as I was getting ready for bed, there they were again… the little hairs were reaching out to be with each other. So, I came to the conclusion that left nostril hair was having an illicit affair with right nostril hair and only bad things would come from it. So, before the angry villagers lit my nose on fire in angry protest I clipped everyone.
In between my nostril love fest, I managed to read My Friend Dahmer, Billy Fog Vol 1, Ampney Crucis: Vile Bodies and Hector Umbra. You can see what I liked below the break.





