Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Chicken Wings!

This week I realized that even though my life is typically one big explosion, sometimes it's a small series of events.

For example, Event #1 occured on the comic book geek front, I was wondering about Mastermind Excello. OOOOksay. For non-comic geeks, (1) don’t ask about the name, (2) Yes, even I, as a comic geek; think the name is stupid; (3) He’s the seventh smartest person in the Marvel Universe.

BUT, as a comic geek this made me wonder… If M.E. is the seventh smartest, who are the six smartest people in the Marvel U.

I think, in no order,
(1) Reed Richards
(2) Tony Stark
(3) Dr. Doom
(4) The Leader
(5) The Mad Thinker
(6) Hank Pym? Except for that split personality issue he’s pretty smart. Isn’t he?

Then, in a double geek move, who are the six smartest people in the DCU?
I think, in no order,
(1) Lex Luthor
(2) Batman
(3) Doc Magnus
(4) …ummm… Brother Power the Geek?
(5) … Sivana?
(6) …Mr. Mind?

I don’t know. It seems to me that DC has a stake of muscle bound heroes and a stack of smart villains.

So, as you can see, there was an important comic book lesson this week. Well, maybe not so much a lesson as a stop-n-ponder. But, there were important life lessons to be learned too.

For instance, I learned that women should never talk to men when they are reading a book. ESPECIALLY, if they aren’t looking at you and just giving you the “Un-hun” and “Sure, why not” answers. Because, most importantly, you will get half answers.

Conversely for men, if you aren’t listening, don’t hazard a guess or make answers up. It's better to completely ignore the question.

Let's clarify this with a hypothetical situation. Let's say your wife, girlfriend, or significant other has been working out lately and are very proud of her new look. Flexing her arms, and doing her best Louy Ferrigno, she turns to her husband, who happens to be fully engrossed in the book he is reading, and says “Check out these things!"

In this situation, there are several possible correct answers including the aforementioned silence. BUT, the completely wrong answer is “Wha? Chicken Wings?”

It’s just bad all the way around… not that I know, but a friend… of a friend, told me that such statements can get you in trouble.

As I learn.. I mean hear of these life lessons I feel it best to pass them along.


  1. Ray Palmer, Prof (from Challengers), Brainiac 5, Mr. Terrific, Dr. Midnight, Ted Kord - you Marvel guys - geez - although more prominent big brains in MU.

    So now we have the weekly "what did Lee do to piss off the wife this week show".

    Very enjoyable.

  2. I did think of Mr. Terrific at one point but quickly forgot him. You're right... the brainy DC guys don't get much press.

    AND!!! I never said it was me in the story. Rash assumption on your part.

  3. Sorry of course that's not you (snicker).

  4. Mr. Terrific called himself the third smartest man in the world recently. I want to say it was within the pages of Justice Society of America -- perhaps in the scene where he's at the chalkboard with Starman? I think he might even have called himself that in Infinite Crisis during the church scene. One of those, or both, or somewhere. :p

    I figured Lex and Bruce were the first two, just like Lee did. But who knows?

    Mr. Terrific stars in two series and was a key component in Infinite Crisis. How could anyone call him not prominent? ;)

    (Yeah, I love him. Is it obvious?)

    But hey - your Marvel list got me looking up who the hell are The Leader and The Mad Thinker?

    And by the way, Jim, I'm thinking Ted's brain kinda doesn't exist in the DCU anymore. ;)

  5. Mr. Terrific is one of the best updated heroes ever.

    Ted's alive on one of the 52 earths!

  6. Oh yeah! Good point! Long live Earth-48 Ted Kord! Hahaha!