Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Mean Kids

So another week, another round of the kids trying to kill each other. I am an only child, so I don’t really have a feel for the base level of cruelty that siblings have towards each other. But, with three kids I am amazed that people with siblings: (a) talk to their brothers/sisters, and (b) actually grew up.

The past few weeks have been marked by a series of little events. First, the Boy let Girl know just how he feels about her. Well, that’s not true, he basically let her know he was growing beyond her, and it wasn't well received.

It began when we started talking about school next year. Boy and Girl are twins (fraternal not identical in case you’re wondering), and so far they have always been in the same classroom. Well, Mom and I decided it was time for them to be separated. We wanted to let everyone know what was going to happen and, surprisingly enough, he was thrilled. All he could think about was the new classroom, new friends, and new adventures. He is all about school. Girl, on the other hand wasn’t quite so thrilled. She was mopey, and finally said “But, I’m going to miss you, Boy”

To which he responded, without missing a breath, “I’m not going to miss you!” She was so crushed. I know my little girl will have her heart stomped on by some young boy, but I wished it would have occurred at a later date. And, I really wish that her brother hadn't been the first to do it.

Then again, it’s not like Girl doesn’t occasionally deserve the stepping on that she gets! You see, Tiny WORSHIPS the ground Girl walks on. I honestly think Tiny would trade all her Christmas presents for one full day alone with Girl. Needless to say, she follows Girl everywhere and imitates everything that Girl does.

This past weekend She and Tiny were coloring at the table when Girl asked Mom, “Will you tell Tiny to stop? She’s copying all the colors I’m doing!”
Mom, trying to be diplomatic, "Well, that's because she likes you so much and really likes playing with you."
To which, Tiny adds “You’re my best friend, Girl.”

And, Girl coldly replied, “We’re not friends. We only live in the same house.”

Now, if I compare what Boy did and what Girl did, they’re certainly similar but not the same. When Boy was talking to Girl, it wasn’t so much cruel as honest and factual. He wasn’t snide. He wasn’t even trying to be mean. He was just stating a fact. In contrast, when Girl was talking to Tiny, I could almost see the frost coming out of her mouth.

It’s one thing to see your kids fight, it’s another thing entirely to wonder if they will ever be friends.

The real crusher, from a parental standpoint, was Tiny responding to Girl's comment with “I love you, Girl!”


  1. It's not going to get any better until much later. Living in separate households will eventually help. But you never know. I'm still not terribly close to my brother, but my wife is very close with her brother and sister.

  2. Oh boy did you ever hit this one on the head. I have b/g twins and they are just the same way...the girl is always trying to be the boss and always wants the boy around because she needs his presence to feel like a whole person, while the boy will play along for a little bit but eventually finds a way to break free. He never says anything nasty to her...he just finds a way to quietly disappear.

  3. Seriously it does not help to hear that your sister is imitating you because she likes you so much. Believe me, I know. I mean, I love my sister, really, but when we were kids and she'd follow me around, I hated it! The last thing an older sibling wants is to be imitated - because they are desperately trying to become more and more of an individual the older they get. Of course the younger sibling understands nothing of this and gets their feelings hurt... and the cycle continues =/ Good luck Lee.