Saturday, January 13, 2007

Guardians of the Galaxy v. LSH

You know... since Jim went to the game, now is a perfect time to talk about the Guardians of the Galaxy.

In this weeks episode of Guardians of the Galaxy v. LSH, we shall evaluate the villains.

I know that many readers of this blog are LSH fans so I am going to keep this simple. Partly because blind loyalty keeps LSH fans from realizing the truth and partly because, well… LSH fans aren’t the brightest bulbs. Not quite at the bottom of the dimmer switch but not turned all the way up either.

Mordru v. Bubonicus

Point 1: The costume
Mordru wears a purple skirt. Oops, I mean purple tunic. Of course, everyone knows that tunic, in old English, loosely translates as “skirt.” Nothing screams evil like a tunic.
Bubonicus has cool techno armor. Armor is always cool. Since the days of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round table, who wore armor, it has been cool. Iron Man, Black Knight, Armor Man, all cool.

Score: GoG 1, LSH 0

Point 2: The hat
Mordru wears a fez. By no means am I saying fez’s aren’t cool. Goodness no! Fred Flinstone wore one to the Moose Lodge meetings. BUT, Mordru has accessorized his with wings and an eyeball. Not eyeballSSS. Just one eyeball. Uuuummm, yeah. That wings thing is sooooo cool. Nothing more intimidating than a costume consisting of a winged fez and tunic. I get chills just typing the description.
Bubonicus has no features because he’s has a helmet. A cool techno helmet no less. You can’t go wrong with helmets. Dr Doom, helmet. Helmut Von Zemo, helmut s his name!!!. The Persuader, helmet… and axe too! What can I say? Helmets are cool.

Score: GoG 2, LSH 0

Finally, the “evil quotient”
Mordru once made a billboard outta lightbulbs and then popped them all at once. OOOOHHHH IMPRESSIVE. If you doubt me, check out LSH #300. It was an alternate universe story but it counts! The only thing more vicious than popping lightbulbs is nails on a chalkboard. Evil to the core.
Bubonicus. Let’s see, on his stat sheet his occupation is listed as… and I quote “cosmic eradicator”

Conclusion, light bulb popper v. cosmic eradicator.

Score: GoG 3, LSH 0

Not even close this week. Until next time… Go Guardians!


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Lee - You are obviously insane as the LOSH is so much greater that it is not a contest.

  3. Lee

    First of all I'm not sure how evaluating a Legion villain makes the Guardians better than the Legion... especially the the Persuader (who happens to be a Legion villain) is in one of your "cool" examples.

    2. See response post