Friday, March 07, 2008

Let The Countdown Begin!

In case you didn’t read yesterday’s late night post… It was Gwen’s birthday. You should go, wish her a happy birthday, and check out her picture in case you're wondering what she looks like. Come back quick!!!

Now that you've done that, let's get down to business. Seriously, Gwens' birthday is exciting and all but there are more important subjects to discuss. Such as the fact...

Wait wait wait. I know the realization that time is running out to get me a “good” gift might cause you to panic but there are still plenty of quality options left. Seriously, there is no need to panic because to make things even easier I have created the "Short List" of super cool gifts for Lee…

There is always the For-Me AND For-Lee gift...
Option #1: The small chalet in Sweden or Finland or some other cool country we have friends in!
AND, this is a gift for YOU and ME because I need someone to live there in the winter. I’m sorry but I am a cold weather sissy. Love the views, love the mountains, not much into snow and ice and cold and general winter conditions. So, what I really want is a small chalet in some cool country where I know someone for the month of July and August. And, not some crappy little chalet either. I want a real one with field stone on the insides and outsides, 400 year old fireplaces, all an amazing view. I don't want it in downtown Berlin.... Yick. I want it up in the Mountains.

If you're not sure about the vacation home option, there is...
Option #2: Really cool art.
But not crappy art! I’m not looking for the painted bowl of fruit that you find over the bed at Motel 8. I want a real painting like this one… or that one. Something that all of us saw on the back of every single comic book in 1978. EVERY SINGLE COMIC BOOK! Anyway, the artist is John Berkey if you are googling him.

Then again art can be expensive. I know that no price can be assigned to my happiness but I want there to be something for everyone to buy me.

So we have... Option #3:A super-cool, dressed in leather personal fitness trainerette.
I think it’s important for a person to stay in shape. Not that I am getting fat but I want to remain tone because it would be harder to get back into shape than to maintain the incredible awesome physique that I already have. Now, this is a tricky gift because I don’t want some chick that’s more manly than me. I know that limits things quite a bit but it can be done. I’m sorry but if the steroids mean she has a thicker, darker mustache than me... no. Just no. Honestly, I just want some hot chick in leather pants telling me to work harder!

And, please note, unlike others who look at 40 as a spec in their rearview mirror (…Jim…) I ain’t there yet. Still 30 and lovin’ it!!!


  1. wait... why should I send you a present when you didn't get me one?

  2. Just getting to know my awesome brilliance this past year is your gift.

    All the things you've learned just by listening to me... PRICELESS.

    That's why there is no gift this year.