Friday, April 01, 2011

The Best Big Breasted Babe in Books (BBBBB) Award

Jim: A few years back Lee and I wrote a post about the lack of big breasted, overly endowed, tremendous racks for the women characters in comics. I am glad to report that DC has given up any pretense of celebrating the merely endowed or non-endowed. DC has become a real manly man’s man comic book company and I want to give them this years coveted BBBBB award!

Lee: WHOOOOAAAA there tiger. You can’t just be giving DC the Best Big Breasted Babe in Books (BBBBB) Award. Marvel gave up having their artists draw real breasts years ago. In fact, they even up’d the ante by having their heroines run around in ripped costumes! Marvel obviously deserves the award this year.

Jim: Ok, I am always up for a good debate, especially against easy targets such as you. To prove my point, let’s take Power Girl for an example. As you can see she is one of the most well rounded women in comics. Not only are these gargantuan boobs are welcome sight for the males in the audience, they are set up unrealistic goals for the female audience to aspire too. Let’s face it even the “Housewives of Whatever City” who all appears to have been naturally gifted (via plastic surgery) with floatation devices that could save them if shipwrecked in the middle of the ocean, could not achieve what Power Girl has in great abundance.

Lee: I knew you would start with Powergirl and BWAH HA HA You have played into my hand, foolish lover of boobs with support! For my first example, I provide Moonstone of Thunderbolts. As you can see here, not only does she have magnificently huge boobs but she also has ripped her costume for maximum appeal. And, based upon the under-shadows present in the art, I can only surmise that she is using her powers to levitate her boobs! Not only does it protect her from unnecessary back pain but it also prevents stretch marks and other issues associated with sagging.

Jim: And this is why we don’t debate because you are a child satisfied with the obvious. DC doesn’t bother with ripped costumes because DC has teenagers dressed like hookers. I present to the jury, exhibit #1, the latest Supergirl! She may only a teen-ager, but it’s ok to look at her because she from another alternative earth and an alien to boot. To be precise, Earth-2, but not the current Earth-2, the Earth-2 before the Crisis on Infinite Earths, that made Power Girl the grand-daughter of an Atlantis Sorcery from ancient times, but since Infinite Crisis is now the actual cousin of that Earth-2 Superman again, but that world is destroyed and is not the same as the new Earth 2. While this girl seems to have no super genes where it counts, she is severely lacking in the rack department, she has more than enough stripper-ness. An emaciated figure that can only be achieved thru starvation and an outfit that would even be illegal on beaches in France makes this a winner.

Lee: Maybe I can’t compete with underage supergirls, but can you top a fuzzy pussy cat of a hero that fights in a bikini? When we talk about pussy cats I want them big and hairy. Therefore, I give you TIGRA!!!! This is a real woman. She doesn’t pluck. She doesn’t shave. She has all her hair in all the right places. And, because she is a cat by nature when she goes into the heat of battle… she really goes into heat. Rahr rahr.

Jim: You are off topic yet again. This is not about the amount of hair a female hero has, it’s about their tits. And Tigra has no tits. I’m sorry but those are almost realistic. Where are the gravity defying boobs? Oh wait, they’re here at DC. For my last exhibit, I give you Wonder Woman by Adam Hughes! As you can see by this image, these are no ordinary breasts. These are enormous and can be used as deadly weapons in combat. WW’s outfit provides no support what so ever, and after achieving top speed in flight it would be like getting hit by two giant bags of wet cement. Beautiful and deadly at the same time.

Lee: And that is why DC fails. Marvel has forgone the silliness of costumes! I give you Frank Cho and Shanna the She Devil. I don’t know her eye color. I don’t know her hair color. I can’t even tell you if she has all her fingers or toes. One panel tells me everything I need to know about this heroine.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you have heard the arguments. So who do you think deserves the coveted BBBBB award?


  1. The winner is none of those mentioned. It clearly should go to Dejah Thoris! And as an extra special prize, I dropped Warlord of Mars this week due largely in part to her ridiculously large and mostly uncovered endowments. It's a great story, but it doesn't need to go this route to be successful.

    Lee, you had me in stitches reading your Tigra paragraph. Luckily, I could view it on the Edit Post page so I wouldn't be blinded by all those headlights.

  2. THIS is the answer if you ask me:

    But it is probably not what you need so I vote Power Girl!