Wednesday, April 09, 2008

The Plus Ten List

As you all know I have many an inane conversation with the kids but what you might not realize is that I have the same inane conversations with my wife! Take this conversation we had the other night.

Wife: Did you see Priscilla Presley on Dancing with the Stars? She certainly hasn't aged well.
Lee: Really? Do tell?

Let's pause for a minute while I express my views on reality TV. Now, don't get me wrong, I like Reality (trash) TV as much as the next person but I draw the line at COPS. If I am going to watch trash TV then I want to see people making complete idiots out of themselves for the rest of the world to laugh at. Trash TV is nothing more than a giant ego boost proving that once again I am way better than a large portion of America. Or at least better than the ones willing to go on television. Now shows like Dancing with the Stars, American Idol and all that other drivel is half a step above the Gong Show in my opinion. BUT, some of those people have talent. I don't care about talent and I don't want to see talent. I want to see the shirtless redneck jumping off his roof so he can practice his wrestling moves or tasering himself to see if it hurts. With that in mind, please note that my "do tell?" was half hearted at best.

Wife: Yeah. You know, there aren't many hot stars left these days. I mean, really, I would do Harrison Ford but not today's Harrison Ford. More like Harrison Ford Indiana Jones Harrison Ford. He was hot.
Lee: What? Do you realize that makes no sense?
Wife: It makes perfect sense! Harrison Ford is a creepy old grandfather now. He was hot when we were younger.
Lee: Eh! You got me there. He is kinda creepy now.
Wife: See. That's what I mean. There aren't any good looking stars left. Kevin Costner, pre divorce was a hottie. Now, cheater and letch.
Lee: Ok. Ummm is this going anywhere?

Wife: Just making a point. So who would you put on your +10 list?
Lee: My what?
Wife: You know. You're +10 list. Who would you do that was your age +10 yea...
Lee: Winona Ryder! Always wanted to do her.
Wife: What? No no no. She's our age. You need to choose som...
Lee: Alyssa Milano.
Wife: IDIOT! Are you paying attention? +10 years! Those women are our age or younger not to mention total skanks.

Lee: What's your point? Why would I want to do anyone 10 years older than me in the first place? Ick. And besides, I already have quality in you, if I'm gonna do someone else I'm totally going for a skank.
Lee: Fine. Joan Rivers or that chick from Driving Ms Daisy.
Wife: Oh fer crying out loud! Are you even trying?
Lee: WHAT? What do you want? You try and think of someone older than me! Who do I have to choose from? Cher? Ew!
Wife: How about Goldie Hawn?
Lee: Eh. I guess. Or maybe that loonie lead singer from Blondie? Now you're just badgering me. I don't know! Besides, they both got old and fat. I still want a younger skank.
Wife: You really are a pig you know that?
Lee: Yeah? So?

And, on that note I finished reading the Justice League International HC... which was excellent.


  1. Lee,

    Tell your wife that Priscilla Prestley looks that way because of botched cosmetic procedure ( link to TMZ's article ).

    That'll get her started on a whole new discussion, and you can even use Joan Rivers as your answer to that one, too.

  2. Bjooks-

    Botched surgery? Why would she even do that to begin with? The stories of Dr's screwing those things up is scary.

    I thought she had just gotten the "bug" and gone crazy and kept having work done.

    People really just need to accept who they are and that they will get old no matter what.

  3. The scary part is it sounds like a pharm party -- where people gather and let someone inject them with industrial grade silicone. EEK! That ain't right.