Comics and Other Imaginary Tales has obtained an exclusive look in the life of DC Comics co-publisher Dan Didio
7:00 a.m. Wake up, eat breakfast. Pour bowl of cheerios, but decide that you would rather have pancakes. Call Geoff Johns and ask him to stop making his own breakfast and cook you pancakes like your mom used to make.
7: 42 a.m. Talk to wife before you leave about the great romantic evening you have planned for her and how it will redefine their relationship for years to come.
9:15 a.m. Prank call Sean McKeever, pretending to be Joe Quesada offering him the job writing the Amazing Spider-Man.
9:16 a.m. Laugh. Comb Mustache.
10:45 a.m. Read the script for high profile creative team’s innovative reinvention of obscure Silver Age DC character. Talk to editor about the project’s potential to win an Eisner.
11:15 a.m. Talk to Grant Morrison about his latest story arc on Batman, Inc. During his explanation of how Tibetan mysticism is essential to understanding why Batman is fighting glowing space worms, sigh and fondly remember days working on Reboot.
12:31 p.m. Read Scans Daily comments, followed by reassuring call to Greg Land who reminds you that everything's going to be ok and there's nothing wrong with you.
1:20 p.m. Interview with Newsarama about all the great writers working at DC right now, assure them that you’re talking about more writers than just Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns.
1:45 p.m. Conference call with Grant Morrison and Geoff Johns. During call, yell at Peter Tomasi for listening with a cup pressed against the door.
2:00 p.m. Slash Sean McKeever’s Tires.
2:01 p.m. Start writing latest issue of the Outsiders.
2:02 p.m. Finish writing latest issue of the Outsiders.
2:11 p.m. Call high profile creative team doing the innovative reinvention of obscure Silver Age DC character. Ask them to tie the book into latest DC Crossover, Final Crisis 2: Finality.
2:52 p.m. Call Fabian Nicieza, ask if he can take over an innovative reinvention of obscure Silver Age DC character that is suddenly without a creative team.
3:00 p.m. Take car to mechanic, tell him you need your oil changed.
3:03 p.m. Call mechanic. Tell him you have changed your mind and would like your tires rotated instead.
3:06 p.m. Call mechanic. Tell him you have changed your mind and would like a tune up instead.
3:40 p.m. Call mechanic. Tell him he’s fired because you read online that he was complaining about how much you change your mind.
4:00 p.m. Waste time at the office by watching Silence of the Lambs. Suddenly get idea for the next story arc in Teen Titans.
5:00 p.m. Meeting to discuss new takes on DC’s characters. Question: Is there a silver age Black Lightning and can we bring him back? Thought: Can Damage be the new Black Lightning?
6:00 p.m. Go to eat dinner, find out that children have gone over to Mr. Quesada’s house for dinner. Peter Tomasi joins family for dinner instead.
7:00 p.m. Wife asks what happened to the romantic evening they were supposed to have. Explain that you can’t be held responsible for other people’s expectations. Ask Fabian Nicieza to handle this on short notice.
8:00 p.m. Tell wife you want a divorce and how you were reintroduced to your high school girlfriend by Geoff Johns. Tell her how grateful you are to have your “one, true love” back and how you feel reborn. Assure wife that she’ll get a new wardrobe and will still be an important part of your life as your neighbor and we’ll see lots of each other.
10:00 p.m. Totally don’t see her anymore.
* Apologies to Spooky at Dear Mr. Levy