Saturday, October 14, 2006

Comic Book Hype

Comic Books have some of the most incredible hype ever. Nothing is understated. As an example I took the Marvel Solicitations for November and edited them down to some of the best and worst hype from that month. I could have picked on DC and done the same, but I think Marvel is more guilty of over hype then DC, so I choose them.

ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #36 It's an ultimate shocker! Part 4 (of 6) - Wow I get it the ULTIMATE shocker for the ultimate universe, very clever.
ULTIMATE POWER #2 (of 9) And neither world will survive unscathed. You cannot miss it! - I could be wrong, but I'm guessing both worlds survive and I can miss it.

ULTIMATE VISION #0 Delve into the motivation and mission of this most fascinating new Ultimate character! - So all the other new ultimate characters are boring as sh*t?

ULTIMATE X-MEN #76 Ultimate Bishop, who's been on the trail of Cable for a reason that will blow you away! We kid you not. Part 2 (of 4). - About 1 comic a decade blows me away and this will not be it.

ANNIHILATION #4 (of 6) Bottom line, no Marvel Cosmic fan will forgive himself for missing THIS ISSUE! - Marvel cosmic fan, exactly what the hell is that? A fan of just space stuff, Jim Starlin's work - what is a Marvel Cosmic fan? I guess I can miss this issue and forgive myself.

AGENTS OF ATLAS #4 (OF 6) The Sea Monarch joins the AGENTS OF ATLAS as they take on an evil that looks to be deeper than the ocean itself! - Evil deeper than the ocean itself? Okay what the frell is that crap supposed to mean?

THE IRREDEEMABLE ANT-MAN #2 Who will live? Who will die? The answers will shock you! - We are on issue #2, I don't even remember the character names yet, so you are not going to shock me, guaranteed.

BULLET POINTS #1 (OF 5) But when a deadly bullet kills Dr. Erskine along with his bodyguard, M.P. Ben Parker, Steve's destiny-and that of the Marvel Universe-is changed forever- Probably fair hype as this is the premise of the story, but really what any one major event being tweaked change the course of history forever.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #24 This stunning conclusion of DRUMS OF WAR sets the stage for the next year of Captain America stories that will have everyone talking! - So Civil War and all the other books no one will be talking about?

FANTASTIC FOUR: THE END #1 & 2 (of 6) how does their disbanding set the stage for a conflict that will send shockwaves across the galaxy and beyond? - Not just the world, or the solar system, but the galaxy and beyond.

INCREDIBLE HULK #100 - There was no unrealistic hype and this is issue #100, seems odd.

GHOST RIDER #5 Johnny has one last chance to reconcile his life before he has to immerse himself in death. Featuring a guest appearance by...SATAN! - Only in comics is does Satan get this type of notice.

THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST #1 a history-spanning kung-fu epic that will shatter every perception of what it means to be the Immortal Iron Fist - Not redefine the character or give new insight, shatter EVERY perception - sounds plausible to me, what will you do in issue #2?

NEXTWAVE: AGENTS OF H.A.T.E. #10 BUY THIS BOOK! It's more important to the Marvel Universe than CIVIL WAR! I swear! Cross my heart, and such! - Good stuff, I love the humor this book has even in the solicitations.

MOON KNIGHT #7 And now, this other thing. Someone is out there. Someone hitting the old haunts, scenes of the old crimes. Leaving messages. Leaving bodies. Someone who knows you. Someone who crushes steel and pulls off limbs. All to get your attention. Someone out of your league! - Just so stupid sounding.

MS. MARVEL #9 part one of a tingling two-part saga! - Tingling two part saga no thanks, I'll pass on the tingling.

NEW AVENGERS #26 the most important chapter in recent Avengers history. - Well at least they said recent history.

RUNAWAYS #22 the teenage heroes must now confront a horrific new enemy who threatens to tear the team apart. - Physically? One can hope.

WHITE TIGER #1 (of 6) But will she survive long enough to ask the right questions? - It's issue #1 of a 6 so I'm guessing yes.

PUNISISHER X-MAS SPECIAL the gift of holiday homicides - Please I do not want that gift.

DEMONS OF MERCY #1 (of 6) This will have a limited print run. - What comic doesn't (and X-Men #1 with five covers doesn't count) ?

ASTONISHING X-MEN #19 After the shocking and brain-smashing events of last issue, the X-Men are off to protect the Earth from its destruction at the hands of the Breakworld. And when it's all over, nothing will ever be the same! No really, we mean it - No you don't!

CABLE & DEADPOOL #34 or let Cable tip the first domino towards WORLD DOMINATION! - Not galaxy domination only WORLD, wow, showing restraint.

UNCANNY X-MEN #480 The victor will decide the fate of an entire galaxy! Part 6 (of 12)! - That's better, the hell with just a world.

WOLVERINE #48 Logan's survived a plane crash, near-decapitation and being burned alive. The question is... HOW? In this special epilogue to the sellout smash Civil War tie-in arc, the answers start to unfold. Think you know everything there is to know about Marvel's most popular mutant? Think again. Logan's newest mystery begins here. - ZZZZZZ, wake me when Wolverine doesn't have a new mystery.

X-MEN #193 And when the dust clears, what decision does Rogue make that will shake the X-Men to their core?! Part 6 (of 6)! - Cable did the world, uncanny the galaxy, Rogue can only shake up the X-Men - wait didn't everything just change in Astonishing X-Men?


HELLSTORM: SON OF SATAN #2 (of 5) with searing art by Russell Braun (Animal Man) and Klaus Janson. - What is searing art?

WISDOM #1 (of 6) bring you a sci-fi mini-series unlike anything you've seen before! - Well I've seen an awful lot of stuff.

CRIMINAL #2 featuring a full length continuing story - Doesn't almost every comic book on the stands have this?

POWERS #23 Witness a scene so gruesome, no other comic but POWERS could show it to you. - I've read Punisher max and Boys #3 - if you have something beyond that I don't want to see it.


  1. Don't believe the hype! I guess with comic sales being so low these days they have to do something to try and get new readers. Does anyone really fall for this type of hype? Doubtful.

  2. Jeff - no one but the regualr readers of the books is probably even reading it.

  3. Searing art = art that makes your eyes burn. =D